Current mood: anxious
I am writing our story and a "from a mothers eyes" type of look at the NICU experience. Well Im going to try atleast. And I would like to include the thoughts and feelings of my friends, so if you remember a certain prayer or thought you had for us while we were in the NICU or even now please reply to this with it so I can try and include it in this. If nothing else, I just want her story to always be where she can find it. It will be a book of her own, a book of her fight, and her life. Im very excited about this and have already started the writing. What do yall think? I better go we have to go to the Doc today because she has been sick the past couple of days and set her alarm off 4 times last night from bradys (bradycardia) and well we just want to nip anything in the bud. <3 <3 <3

Current mood: full

I snatched this from Mikayla's FAVE NICU nurse...
When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'" I'm whispering "I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven." When I say... "I am a Christian" I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide. When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak And need His strength to carry on. When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed And need God to clean my mess. When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not claiming to be perfect,My flaws are far too visible. But, God believes I am worth it. When I say... "I am a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain. I have my share of heartaches. So I call upon His name. When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not holier than thou, I'm just a simple sinner, who received God's good grace, somehow. -Maya Angelou

Current mood: hopeful

Streets of Heaven

Hello God, it's me again. 2:00 a.m., Room 304. Visiting hours are over, time for our bedside tug of war.This sleeping child between us may not make it through the night.

I'm fighting back the tears as she fights for her life. Well, it must be kind of crowded,On the streets of Heaven.So tell me: what do you need her for?Don't you know one day she'll be your little girl forever.But right now I need her so much more.She's much too young to be on her own;Barely just turned seven.So who will hold her hand when she crosses the streets of Heaven?

Tell me God, do you remember the wishes that she made,As she blew out the candles on her last birthday cake?She wants to ride a pony when she'd big enough.She wants to marry her Daddy when she's all grown up.

Well, it must be kind of crowded,On the streets of Heaven.So tell me: what do you need her for?Don't you know one day she'll be your little girl forever.But right now I need her so much more.She's much too young to be on her own;Barely just turned seven.So who will hold her hand when she crosses the streets of Heaven?

Lord, don't you know she's my angelYou got plenty of your ownAnd I know you hold a place for herBut she's already got a homeWell I don't know if you're listenin'But praying is all that's left to doSo I ask you Lord have mercy, you lost a son once too And it must be kind of crowded,On the streets of Heaven.So tell me: what do you need her for?Don't you know one day she'll be your little girl forever.But right now I need her so much more.Lord, I know once you've made up your mind,There's no use in beggin'.

So if you take her with you today, will you make sure she looks both ways,
And would you hold her hand when she crosses the streets of Heaven. The streets of Heaven.

*Sang by Sherri Austin

Current mood: thankful

So Im a Mom..like officially government and all... wow..
This has been the most heart felt roller coast ride I have ever been on. I am just here to say I have first hand experience of Gods love and I hold her and it in my arms once a day until they let me hold her more. She is so beautiful and perfect and tiny and I have never felt so scared in all my life. When I went in to the operating room was the single most terrifying moment of my life. I had no idea what to think excpet pray for her and not stop. I could care less about the pain (and let me tell you when they have to reopen your incision and then tell you it has to have a wet to dry bandage which means wet gauze shoved in it until it dries and is done 2-3 times a day OUCH! but what started out at 10 incheslong about 2-3 inches wide and 6 inches deep is now only about 6 inches long 2 inches wide and 2 inches deep so its healing THANK GOD its healing lol) I would do it all over again in a heart beat if I needed to for her. She is doing so awesome though they are talking about moving her to team 2 soon which is a igher patient to nurse ratio (meaning she is doing great and wont require constant supervision the way she does now) she will go from 2 babies:1 nurse to 4 babies:1 nurse. Which is incredible. The earliest we can come home though would be August 12 which would be 34 weeks if I was still preggo with her a general rule of thumb though is that we will be here until her due date September 12th. I guess I better get back up there to that babygirl of mine. I will write more later. Thank you all for your prayers and keeping each other updated. I love yall!

Current mood: drained
...So here is the thing...
I went to ER about a weekish ago for the same ol same old dehydration fluid routine..however my blood pressure was up and I was supposed to call the doc. However I just figured it was because of my headache so I didnt do it. Well then my hands started swelling and I kept putting it off and putting it off until I couldnt take the pain from my feet that are so swollen they are shiny. I had no idea that swelling hurts until now.But I was getting ready to leave for Houston with Eric to help him drive down there and I was going to fly back next Sunday to get ready to move the week after that. (I am moving back into my childhood home on 2nd I am soo excited. When Mom was 8 months preggo with me they were moving there and now I will be 8 months preggo when I move in there with Mikayla. Anyways... i go to thinking I havent been to the doc in a while and I wanted to make sure I wasng going to miss my appointment if it was like next week, they said I was do and they didnt have me down and asked if I could come in that day after 3..so I did and I shouldnt have called and all of that because my diastolic blood pressure was double what it normally is, which apparently isnt good, so Im swelling, passing protien in my urine and my blood pressure is high.. And apprently that translates to really not good, and I have been placed on complete bed rest until Tuesday and if it isnt better fist thing Tuesday morning Doc said he is sending me to the city..and if it is better he will lighten the bed rest to like 60/40 which is 60f my time off my feet and 40n...which compared to the 90/10 they are doing to me right now it will be heaven. I am just killing time sitting...sitting...sitting until 5 o clock gets here because then I get to LEAVE THE HOUSE!! and see my babygirl!!! We have our 3D ultrasound today, I will blog and post pics as soon as I have them. Hope everyone is well, Ill stop the rambling for now. <3 <3 <3

Current mood: satisfied

So..I am almost halfway there. I am just a few days shy of my halfway 20 week mark!!!! Which is both shocking and exciting! I cant beleive I am already almost halfway through being preggo. It hasnt even been too bad, I have been sick constantly but thats really the only thing that has bothered me.
The good news is that we found out what put me in the hospital..I was severely dehydrated (so dehydrated that my spinal fluid was low and was causing me to have a spinal headache) my dehydration was caused by what they now tell me is HG or Hyperemesis gravidarium which is:
Hyperemesis gravidarum (from the Latin for "extreme vomiting of the pregnant woman") is a severe form of morning sickness. According to the Hyperemesis Education and Research Foundation, hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) is described as unrelenting, excessive pregnancy-related nausea and/or vomiting that prevents adequate intake of food and fluids. It is considered a rare complication of pregnancy. The exact number of sufferers is difficult to pinpoint because symptoms of nausea and vomiting during pregnancy exist on a continuum, and there is no clear boundary between common morning sickness and hyperemesis. Estimates of the percentage of pregnant women afflicted range from 0.3o 2/P>
Which all of that just means you cant stop getting sick and eventually end up getting IV fluids. And I did. They pumped me full of fluids for 3 days and 2 nights and I actually feel human again lol. They are still having me take Atarax which takes most of the sickness away for me. And I am not allowed to drink plain water it has to mixed with an electrolyte (sp) of some sort meaning either juice or sports drink.
I have been working on Mikayla's nursery some as most of you know. I hope to get most of it done before Eric has to leave for Houston. I am prolly going to have to put the crib together myself which i am a little worried about lol, jk I should do great.
Mikayla moves all the time and has quite the little temper if she gets uncomfortable do to how I am sitting/laying and is fast to let me know it. lol
I guess that is about it, so I will stop rambling...
Love Love Love

Current mood: pleased

I think they turned out really great. And they are waaaaay sturdy. I started out with a 10 foot section of rain gutter, and enough end caps-L brackets-screws-bolts-fabric-paint to make 5 shelves. and this is the end results YEAAAA!!! I think they turned out awesome and there is no chance of her pulling the "bookshelves" i made for her on top of her, or hitting her head and hurting it because they are plastic and can bend. I am sooo proud of them I got the idea from a literacy teacher who told me children pick out books by what they look like and in traditional bookshelves they cant see what they look like but by making something like this they can pick out there own book and in turn like to read more. I am sooo proud of them lol! And most importantly I got to use POWER TOOLS!!!! I Love it!!!

Here are the links to the shelves:
http://www.picfury.com/o/PICT1831-1.html -- with books
http://www.picfury.com/o/PICT1832-1.html -- again with books
http://www.picfury.com/o/PICT1833-1.html -- empty
http://www.picfury.com/o/PICT1834-1.html -- close up of them empty
They look soo awesome with the rest of her stuff and they are not near as bulky as a wooden bookshelf. <3 <3 <3

Current mood: excited

IT'S A GIRL!!!
Mikayla Dawn is her name! So far she is 6.8 inches long and weighs 0lbs 7oz. Her due date is now September 7th it showed me at 18 weeks exactly. That was the most incredible thing I have ever witnessed in my life to actually see her little kicks as I was feeling them was amazing. And wow she is perfect! (they cant say that on the record ...HIPPA laws... but I know she is) I am posting links to several pics and I will explain what each one is....
http://www.picfury.com/e/baby%20belly-2.html my baby belly
http://www.picfury.com/e/PICT1825-1.html Eric waiting patiently
http://www.picfury.com/e/Baby%20facing-3.html Mikayla facing us
http://www.picfury.com/e/Hands%20at%20face-3.html Mikayla has her hands crossed and up to her face
http://www.picfury.com/e/Hi%20Mom-3.html Mikayla waving hi to her mommy
http://www.picfury.com/e/Its%20a%20GIRL-3.html Its a Girl!!
I dont know how to get the actual pic in a blog or I would have done that for yall. LoL! I cant believe she is in my tummy! Love yall

Current mood: excited

So...
This is one of the big milestones to being pregnant. So far I have puked my guts out, had to start wearing maternity clothes, heard the heart beat, felt baby move, and tomorrow I get to find out if all of this craziness I am going through is for a little boy or a little girl...pink or blue..ballet or baseball...bugs or bows..okay okay...lol Ill stop.
Im doing better now I still havent gained any weight and Im still losing it for a total of 18 lbs lost now but the sickness all the time is easing I think so I should be able to make Doctor Keith happy soon and atleast level out were I dont lose or gain or gain. Baby is growing like crazy though my tummy is getting soo round lol. Baby is quite the outspoken one already he is quick to let me know if he doesnt like the position I am in and he thinks my bladder is a really really cool trampoline lol. But so far I love being pregnant, I love the special bond baby and I have already.
Well I have rambled on enough so post and tell me if you think its a boy or a girl and tomorrow I will post and tell everyone and post up baby's first pictures.
Love Love Love

Current mood: indescribable
It seems since i have been preggo it happens more then usual. Everything makes me wheepy. And its like I have no control over getting my feelings hurt. And dont get me started on those dang Halmark comercials lol. Anyways I jist needed to vent about basically not being able to control stuff making me sad and crying. Im glad this baby is worth it. Its worth EVERYTHING.